What will I do when I grow up

I ran into a woman I know earlier this morning as she was walking and I was returning from the dog park. We stopped to chat and we got to the subject of work. She has three children, high school, middle school and elementary school. She has been volunteering her time and now feels a bit put out as the schools expectations of her expertise and time commitments have become abusive.

"I am thinking about what I want to do when I grow up," she joked, as she explained she had a degree in foreign languages and had been working with the ESOL children. That struck a chord within me. I measure myself against the amount of money I earn too often and many times in unreasonable ways. If I write an article and receive $120 for the piece, it is not good enough. I am always putting myself down and in the process wonder what will I be when I grow up.

Here's the sad news. I am grown up and have been doing what I am doing for many years. So, when does the time come when I don't put myself down for not earning a million dollars as a writer? I know the answers are "within me" and blah, blah, blah. 

Giving that pity me stuff up for another thought, I realized this A.M. that I probably have enough stories for another short story book collection. That is really exciting. I will approach this collection a bit differently, I will pay closer attention to the generally accepted lengths of short stories. Mine, while not long enough to be novellas are none the less generally too long.

Boy, does that mean I know what I am going to be when I grow up? Or maybe, I should just stop worrying about it and get on with what excites me.