Time Passes

Wow. It has been so long since I wrote a post on this site. Thus, the title of the post. Time passes and things seem to change and then stay the same. I am always at a loss to think that as much progress as I make, I mostly feel like I am treading water. I don't mean that I am near drowning, no, but that I am getting nowhere .

I believe there are lessons to be learned and I wonder what it is I am doing that is preventing me from learning what feels like a major lesson. There must be a serious flaw within or I wouldn't be treading water.  

Watching my son move through his life with much more ease and grace than I do, is helpful. I can be an observer of his behavior and mine simultaneously. For example, we have been discussing working for art, working for money. He told me my ego gets in the way, that I have false pride.  To some extent he is correct, in other ways he is not. I am not 19 and bursting on to the scene as he is. I don't have the time to waste doing some things. And, I have always been a purist about my work, my art etc.

 When I was acting , working on Broadway was not something to aspire to. I was a serious actress and not ready to sell out-as it were, to work on Broadway. I was trained by famous people and would do my craft.  I still suffer from this type of thinking with my writing. What! me write copy, business writing-- don't you people understand I am an artist.  

Then, reality sets in and the need to find money for bills becomes overwhelming. 

One day it will work it self out in my head.  As I do believe I am teachable.